Goddamn Cows In The Road
by Sweetly-Sadistic's-Romanticide
Summary: As the title implies, an accident caused by three wandering strangers to Earth flips a womans life upside down in a way she hates and loves. Drizzt/Entreri drool /Jaraxle
1. Chapter 1

Okay, people. Here is the side notes on this in a paragraph….duh. This is based off my comedy 'Life With My Boys' (ahem, read it!). The original compiles a crap load of random people into…well, a pile of rubbish. This novel-like version has only Drizzt, Entreri and Jaraxle. I wanted to write it so there.

As her car rattled speedily into the irrigation ditch, Corrine remembered in a brief, ironic flash as to what her day had been. Shit, if she was going to die, might as well have the last few hours of her life engrained in her disembodied soul. She had an eggie-in-a-basket for breakfast, went to work at seven a.m., dealt with crabby sick people in the Fallon hospital, had to reject Jason once more on a date, had a bowl of ramen for lunch and was just driving home at six p.m. on the country lane. Loudly off key, she had been singing to Uncle Kracker's You Make Me Smile when it happened; something had to jump in front of the car and she had to swerve 'cause goddamn it all, hitting a cow at 50 miles an hour would wreck it!

The world bounced crazily in the flashing headlights as the car ground to a stop, the right front end lifted up on the opposite side of the ditch. Pushing out the breath of air that was stuck in her tight chest, Corrine blinked at how quickly that all happened. Taking a deep breath, she loosened the claw grip she had on her steering wheel and took off her seat belt.

"What the fuck?" the woman mumbled dazedly, as if unsure that she was really off the road in her truck stop hometown. Turning about in her seat she glanced to the road, startled to see nothing there. "Jesus Christ, what was that?"

Corrine was just reaching for the door handle when a long, silvery blade pierced the roof at her right side, screeching as metal scraped metal. Screaming in horrified fright, she flattened herself to the door, frantically reaching for the exit.

"Ah! Hell! What the hell?!" she cried in a panic as the door swung open behind her and the blade retracted gracefully. With a thud, Corrine landed on her back in the dirt, a good two feet from the car seat. Some psycho just stabbed her car! What the hell?

Scrambling to her feet, she backed away from the accident, wide eyes trying to see in the dark of the Nevada night. Nothing stood atop her vehicle and no sound echoed to her beating heart except the sound of cattle in the distance.

"Did I imagine that? No fucking way," she immediately countered, taking only one step closer to peer at the clean splice in the roof. "That had happened."

"Indeed it had, as will your imminent demise if you take one more wrong move," replied a voice from behind her, low and promising. Freezing at that, Corrine sucked in her breath and prayed that it wasn't a rapist. The voice in itself was frightening; cold, hard and silver like the blade.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'm not moving, dude," the woman spluttered in fear, raising her hands to her sides in surrender. "Just don't rape me."

"Woman, do not be ridiculous. Why did you attempt attacking us?" the man's voice demanded sharply, apparently insulted by her statement. Corrine licked her dry lips and resisted the urge to turn around, especially now that there was the definitive tip of a knife to her spine.

"I…uh-didn't? I was driving and-and I went around a corner and something jumped in front of my car and then I was in the ditch and then a fucking sword went through my roof and then I fell out and then-"

"That is enough," the man went silent and the pressure of the blade disappeared. Still, the woman didn't attempt to move until told. Some psycho had jumped- no, no, no, scratch that; apparently multiple psychos (considering the term 'us) had jumped in front of her car and were stabbing shit with swords. She was not moving! What kind of a nut job ran around with a sword anyways?

"My lady, you may calm yourself. It was a misunderstanding that could have been avoided if my distracted companion had paid attention," a new voice stated from behind in a pleasant, soothing tone. Corrine frowned at his words and resisted the urge to smirk as she lowered her hands. 'My lady', great, some D&D freaks were running loose again. It was all fun as a game but some people take it too far.

"May I move without dying now?" she asked a bit dryly, recovering slowly from the car crash adrenaline. Another tense silence ensued before they responded.

"You may but I must request that you do not panic at our appearances. We are merely travelers," the second voice replied in a caution. Corrine rolled her eyes and turned to face the dumb, probably drugged kids who had wrecked her car. They were going to be sued to the point it was sad!

Standing only a few feet behind her were a trio of men, each unarmed now. Blinking twice, shaking her head then staring blatantly at them, Corrine had to really focus on reality to comprehend them.

The man in the center was a pale creature with dark eyes that glittered like black glass. From under frowning brows, they stared at her coldly as his lips pressed in annoyance. She stared his firm, defiant jaw with its dark, clean goatee and moustache, then his raven black hair tied back against the base of his skull. He looked like the very essence of the night itself with the sharp angles of his frowning brows and high cheekbones, hiding depthless, calculating black eyes.

To his left stood a much more dramatic person who was an eyesore even at night. Ebony skin like gleaming pitch contrasted sharply with the glowing red of his wickedly intelligent and appraising eyes, one covered by a ruby eye patch. To her shock, he wore a wide brimmed violet hat which barely concealed his pointed ears. A humorous, slightly sinful smile tweaked the end of his mouth as he considered her, one slender black hand fiddling with his belt of daggers.

The one to the right of the trio instantaneously sparked recognition in her mind like fire. Thick white hair fell messily about his shadowy face and on his forest cloak. The flare of his brilliant lavender eyes startled the woman as he blankly if not warily gauged her reaction to him. Balancing his wrists of the pommels of two precise scimitars at his hips, the man looked like he had leapt out of the book and into the road beside her. There was even a unicorn pendant about his slender, corded neck, for crying out loud!

"My lady, I did try to forewarn you about our appearances," the ridiculously garbed man sighed, apparently disappointed by her reaction. Snapping to focus and closing her gaping mouth, Corrine cleared her throat and gave them a critical look, one brow lifted.

"Let me guess: Artemis Entreri, Drizzt Do'Urden and Jaraxle Baenre, right?" she asked wryly. A complete look of surprise crossed the two drow and they shared a startled glance. Entreri merely narrowed his dark glare at her.

"Indeed, that is our names. How do you know us, stranger?" Drizzt returned curiously. Corrine wasn't paying attention however. Laughing with dry, frustrated humor, she closed her eyes and threw her hands up in resignation.

"Oh my god, I hit a bunch of wandering cos-players! Fuck, when does it end?"

"Cos-players? I believe you are confused," the assassin stated bluntly, apparently not enjoying her company. Corrine wagged a finger at him reprimanding, quickly growing more agitated by the moment.

"No, no, no. I think you are the one confused, Arty. Okay, listen up: those people aren't real! I don't know if you get your kicks this way but causing accidents then holding people at knife point is not funny. In fact, its illegal so-"

"You do not believe we are real? Why wouldn't we be?" Jaraxle interrupted, seeming more intrigued by the moment. She eyed them all and wondered why the hell she wasn't calling the cops already. Apparently, they were on drugs.

"Because those guys are fictional. They don't exist. Idiots just like to dress up like them and go run around a convention center. I don't care if you do it in Fernley, really. I don't care if you do it in Bumfuck, Egypt, just not in the ro-"

"She does not believe we are real!" Jaraxle stated incredulously, turning to Entreri in mild shock. Corrine stopped her tirade to watch as the assassin shrugged as if he truly didn't care. "According to the lady, we do not exist."

"It is not that amazing, Jaraxle. We are no longer on Faerun and I rather doubted that our reputations would spread to other planes of existence," Drizzt countered readily if not exasperatingly. He'd been through it all before, Corrine knew. Mentally, she slapped herself. Knock it off! They are just confused, drugged kids! Well, maybe not kids but at least drugged thirty or so year olds.

"Let us leave. We will not find any answers here."

"Hold on. Hold on," Corrine stopped them, putting up a hand and restraining a laugh. "Let's say you are who you say you are. Can you prove it?"

Jaraxle gave her yet another pleased, intrigued look and nodded. Corrine folded her arms over her chest and waited, giving the drow a challenging look. Watch; he'll pull out some joke shop wand and this bad joke would be over and the insurance policies would be exchanged.

Instead, she looked down at a burst of purple light to find her arm on fire. Wailing a startled cry, Corrine beat at in a panic. The flames neither diminished nor did they…hurt. They didn't hurt! Calming down enough to realize the fact, the woman held her hand before her eyes, watching the violet fires lick and fume about her fingers and arm like a pet. After a moment, they blinked to nonexistence.

With a gaping, stunned look, Corrine stared at the trio, eyes wide and mouth open yet again. Without much further ado, her gaze rolled to the darkness of her skull and she fainted, dropping to the ground hard.


	2. Chapter 2

A blaring car horn brought Corrine back to reality, dragging her still shocked mind back from the dark of unconsciousness. Snapping to, she stared at the slowly moving gravel beneath her limp feet, trying to figure out how she was walking. At the realization that her numb arms were hauled over Entreri's and Drizzt's shoulders, she panicked.

"Ah! Let me go! Let me down, you freaks!" she immediately shrieked in horror before writhing in their grasp. Drizzt tried to hold on and murmur something comforting to her mounting confusion to no avail. The assassin merely flung off her arm and pushed her away.

"Fine," he growled before continuing to stalk down the dark street. Jaraxle had stopped at her racket and watched in amusement as his companion stalked past, grumbling.

Sinking to the ground in relief, Corrine stared with wide brown eyes, mouth trembling. Drizzt knelt by her, taking note of her ashen complexion and shaking.

"Calm yourself or you will faint again," he advised soundly as the other drow approached.

"Have we proved our existence sufficiently, my lady?" Jaraxle asked graciously, barely covering a chuckle as he came to her side. The woman stared up at him dumbly before nodding. The random, gold streetlights that dotted Farm District road glittered brightly off his rainbow-colored vest and ruby eye patch.

"Now, may we know your name?"

"C-…Corrine."

"Korreen?"

"N-No, it's Ko-rr-in. No extended 'e' sound," she corrected automatically, her voice running while her brain stayed in limbo. Jaraxle nodded in understanding with a crisp 'ah'.

"Once more, we do apologize for the damage to your vehicle. Entreri really is rather liberal with his blades," he continued in feigned annoyance. Blinking rapidly, Corrine took Drizzt offered hand and got to her wobbly feet. For a blank moment, she stared at them both as her reason settled in.

"H-How are you here? How did you-? God, I uh…"

"I do not know what 'God' you reference to, but I do not believe that any of them sent us here," Drizzt corrected a bit dryly, giving Jaraxle a mildly venomous look. The other gave a look of pouting sadness.

"I did not realize that the wand was malfunctioning at the moment of casting. Otherwise I would not have used it. Ironically, it was supposed to send us back to our respectable homes-"

"But it did not. It sent us to the plane furthest from them," Entreri's voice cut in sharply from behind them. Without her notice, he had stalked right back on over and now stood there glowering. Ungluing her tongue to the roof her of her mouth, Corrine tried to think more clearly.

"Can it send you back?"

At Drizzt's and Entreri's vile looks, the mercenary sighed in mock martyrdom and shook his head after sweeping his hat off his bald pate.

"Sadly, no. It combusted once we arrived; quite literally, actually. Startled the entire herd of bovine we had appeared next to horribly. Their racket had drawn out the farmer, leaving no time to gather the remaining pieces."

Feeling more stable, Corrine found herself sharing in the other two's exasperation. Thinking quickly, she came to a conclusion that really was not too surprising.

"Alright, then. I need to get you guys back to my house. You can't go running amuck like that," she sighed in amused horror. What was she going to do with them? Immediately, Drizzt shook his head in argument.

"We cannot intrude upon you in such a manner. We can easily pay for a room at a tavern-"

"You don't have the currency we use and a random gold coin will raise hell."

"Then the surrounding country will provide proper refuge-"

"Again, no. All of it is monitored by ranchers or the sheriffs. We have too many idiots out here for them to let you camp around and light fires."

"We can avoid detection," Entreri reassured in a none too kind nor reassuring way. Corrine rolled her eyes and sighed at the arrogance.

"Listen, back home, you might've been able to easily but here, no. If you compare your world to ours, you guys are like six hundred years behind. Trust me, it's much safer if you go with me," Corrine continued to argue reasonably. With a dark look she added, "That and if you stab someone else's car like you did mine, you will be arrested lickety-split."

"Unlikely."

"Lickety-what?" Jaraxle cut in curiously. Rubbing her eyes with her forefinger and thumb, Corrine muttered to herself for a moment.

"Do you want to risk it? In a foreign world with no contacts, no allies and no money of which to speak?"

For a moment, they exchanged thoughtful looks. Finally Drizzt turned and gave her a thankful smile, the faint light going through his shock of white hair like a halo.

"We will find a way to return the favor," he promised gratefully. Corrine waved off his good natured oath with a nervous grin.

"Just don't hurt my car again."


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, mi casa, su casa!" Corrine announced as she finally stepped into the warmer air of her house, flipping on a light. Her statement and the fact that the light came on so brightly and suddenly stunned and alarmed them all unnecessarily. Entreri gave the switch a dangerous look before maneuvering around the ranger who stood in the way, staring at her blankly.

"Pardon?"

"Um, my house is your house in Spanish…I think, I never took it so I'm probably wrong."

"Spanish?"

"Never mind," Corrine laughed wearily as she kicked off her tennis shoes. "Would you be so kind as to take off your boots? I hate cleaning up mud."

"No," Entreri replied shortly as he walked past, studying the living room intently. Corrine gave him an angry, argumentative look before letting it go. The other two guests were at least being compliant. With a glare at the tracks on her previous clean carpet, she took off her jacket and threw it on her lumpy couch.

"Okay, so this is the living room. I have a fold out bed in here and a comfy couch so two of you can sleep in here. There's a spare bedroom for my friends when they come over," she said in a lighter tone, indicating her large, lumpy cream couch then the shorter but wider leather one across the way. Drizzt warily took a seat on the latter, running one ebony palm over the slick, cool material.

"What is this?" Jaraxle called in question from where he knelt by the large screened television. Corrine pondered whether she should explain it or not before deciding.

"I'll show you another time. Its sort of like a scrying bowl, I guess. Just don't touch it," she warned a bit sharply when he reached for the plug. Taking a bracing breath, she clapped her hands together and gave them a smile. "Anyone hungry?"

"We would be grateful for a meal. It has been almost a day since the last one," Drizzt replied softly as he stood to remove his cloak. "Your home is warm yet I see no fireplace."

"Its heated by one but it's…different. Anyway, lets go see what's in the fridge."

Trying hard to keep her panic levels from rising at the realization that she was housing three fantasy characters, Corrine led the way into her kitchen. The slate floors were smudged by mud tracks from Entreri, further frustrating her. Like a freaking vulture, the assassin stood by the sliding glass door, looking into the backyard.

Casting him another dirty look (which he didn't acknowledge), she went straight to her refrigerator, bumping into the island in the center. The drow followed her in, eyeing the shining, metal utensils and appliances with wary curiosity. She could just see Jaraxle itching to dissect the toaster.

"Okay, I have some left over pizza and…um, fish sticks. I'll heat those up for you guys. There's some soda left, some milk and orange juice. Who wants orange juice?" she asked as she pulled out the items, piling them up on the counter. Drizzt grabbed the large box of Dominos pizza and opened the lid a crack. Taking a sniff, he made a startled face and gave her a puzzled look.

"Pee-tsa?"

"Pi-zza, Drizzt, Pi-zza. Its good, well, for being Dominos its good," Corrine reassured him with a laugh. Pulling down three plates from a cupboard, she put two slices on each along with a handful of fish sticks. Popping one into the microwave, she hit reheat.

"What is that?" Jaraxle asked yet again with a childish grin of wonder, coming over to touch the appliance. Impatiently, she slapped away his slender hand.

"Jar, stop touching things. You are like a retarded fly on acid!" that drew a dark chuckle from Entreri. It made her wonder if they had acid in the Realms. Finally the first plate was done and she forked it over to the mercenary.

"Go sit at the table and I'll get you something to drink."

"You are much too gracious, Lady Corrine," Jaraxle exalted in a dryly humorous way, bowing before turning to sit. She snorted at that derisively as she put in Drizzt's plate.

"You just wait, drow boy. Entreri, what do you want to drink?"

"Nothing. I am going to miss the meal and scout out the area," he replied bluntly as he opened the sliding door, letting in the chill of October nights. Before he could get out, Corrine rushed over hysterically and slammed it shut. Entreri gave her an annoyed deadly look that said if she kept pushing his nerves she was going to get stabbed.

"You can't!"

"I cannot?"

"No!"

"Surely, you do not think you can stop me?"

"This isn't Faerun, jackass. You might've been able to slink around unnoticed at home but here, it's not happening. We have alarm systems that pick up all movement, in the dark or not. Our technology will pick you up like nothing and you'll get arrested."

For a moment, the two shared combative, challenging glares. Corrine wilted at first under his withering stare, unnerved by his steely dark eyes. Firming her chin, she narrowed her brown gaze, praying secretly that she didn't die by dagger. After a moment, Entreri let a small smirk tweak the end of his lips in amusement.

"It would be wise to heed her warnings, Entreri. We are in a foreign world, as she has so accurately shown us," Drizzt cautioned, unaware that they had already come to terms. The assassin rolled his eyes at him before going to sit by Jaraxle.

"Whatever suits your fine sensibilities, drow," he quipped sourly, folding his arms and leaning back in the seat. Drizzt gave him a piercing look before turning his lip at him.

"And there's your plate. Go sit down, Drizzt," Corrine announced hurriedly as the tension grew and the microwave buzzed. The icy stare they shared continued as he sat across from the assassin.

Once they all had their plates, the woman frantically realized that the drinks she had were probably foreign to them, minus the milk. As for the orange juice, she wasn't sure considering oranges were never mentioned in the series. Soda was definitely new to them. Shrugging helplessly, she decided to give them a cup of each.

"What's wrong?" Corrine asked in concern at Entreri's disturbed countenance. At the end of his fork was a barely nibbled fish stick, accompanied by a disgusted grimace.

"This is not fish."

"Yeah it is. Just heavily processed cod and leftover fish pieces that have been deep fried. Is it bad?"

"Yes, it's horrible."

Corrine rolled her eyes as she finally took her seat opposite Jaraxle, who seemed to be immensely enjoying his own sticks. In front of each plate setting was a row of three drinks, fully creating a circle in the center of the table.

"Try the pizza then."

"It is a strange dish; this Pi-zza, but hearty," Drizzt admitted from where he sat, carefully slicing a piece with a knife. Corrine sighed and decided not to correct him on his methods. Picking up her own slice of pie, she ignored their looks as she chowed down.

"What is this?" Jaraxle asked in startled pleasure after sipping his cup of root beer. She smiled at them as Drizzt and Entreri followed suit, taking cautious tastes of the soda.

"If I had a nickel every time you say that…it's called root beer," she replied lightly before licking her fingers of pizza grease. "Don't drink too much. There's a lot of sugar and I don't want you bouncing off the ceiling, Jar."

"Is that to be my new name with you?" he asked with a grin, taking a hearty gulp of the orange juice. He winced and set it down with a disgruntled look. "That was not as pleasant."

"I find it to be," Drizzt argued, finishing off his cup and ignoring the milk entirely. Leaning back in her seat and bringing up a foot to rest by her bottom on the chair, Corrine munched on a fish stick and thought.

"Tomorrow, we need to devise some disguises for you two. Entreri's fine if not moody."

"I will not wear a mask," Drizzt said stonily, giving her a strict look.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, 'I will not hide my heritage' thing. All we need to do is change your outfit and hide your ears. Otherwise you are good."

Jaraxle and Drizzt exchanged surprised looks yet again before staring at her.

"Will not our black skin give away that we are drow?"

"No, not here. Here we have people with black skin, well, not quite as dark but close enough in some cases," she paused to consider something. "You will look a bit eccentric with your hair, Drizzt, but I think we can pull it off."

"What? Pull off my hair?"

"No, no, no. God, I meant the disguise."

With a huff at Entreri's quiet laugh at her, Corrine stood to set up the beds. After pulling out the hideaway bed and laying out pillows and blankets (off her own bed, mind you), she similarly made the couch.

"Okay, who wants the living room and who wants the room?" she asked tiredly once she returned to the kitchen. The males looked up at her blankly from their conversation. Entreri gave a shrug before deciding to respond.

"Jaraxle and I will share the front room as I doubt the ranger will trust me enough to sleep nearby."

Drizzt gave him yet another hard look but nodded in mute agreement.

"Whatever," Corrine grumbled as she took the dirty plates away, as well as several empty cups. Setting them gracelessly in the sink, she rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Listen, I hate to be a party pooper but I am exhausted. You guys going to be okay if I lock up and go to bed?"

"Absolutely. Go and rest," Drizzt reassured her before collecting his cloak. "I will be retiring as well."

Making her rounds to lock all the doors and setting the house alarm, Corrine came back to the front room. Jaraxle sat with the toaster in his lap, peering intently down into the inside, sitting cross legged on the bed.

"Jar, please don't break that. And nobody try to leave the house in the morning. The alarm will go off unless I put in the code."

"What is the code?" the drow asked nonchalantly, still eyeing the metal thing in front of him. Corrine gave a short laugh.

"Nice try, buddy. G'night."


	4. Chapter 4

"Jesus Christ, this house is cold!" Corrine whispered through chattering teeth as she padded down the hallway at three in the morning. Perhaps it was because she was sleeping under only a throw blanket and her sheets but she was freezing. Not daring to turn on a light, she made her way to the living room as quietly as possible. She was sure they heard her but tried being polite anyway.

The kitchen was faintly illuminated by the golden light over the oven, casting sharp shadows on the floor. Glancing into the dark front room, she rubbed her hands over her bare arms, trying to remember where she had thrown her warmest sweater a few nights previous. Was it by the front door? God, she couldn't remember and really didn't want to try sneaking by the assassin.

"Fuck it, this slip'll have to do," Corrine muttered sourly, glaring at the pale pink nightgown. Turning to go back to her room, she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Entreri's voice.

"You do realize that you are rather loud," his deep, dry words came from the kitchen. Stifling a yelp, she turned to spot him in his previous seat, staring out across the moonlit backyard. She stared at the lines of his profile, seeming soft in thought before he shifted to look at her.

"Um, sorry. I was looking for my sweater," she apologized before realizing that he hadn't even been asleep. "When do you sleep anyway?"

The assassin blinked at her suddenly annoyed voice before shrugging. Turning back to the yard, he seemed to ignore her again. When she turned to leave, he spoke once more.

"It's on the table. The garment was wedged in my bed," he commented lightly. Pausing in surprise, Corrine looked to see her black sweater crumpled by him. At the glance she realized also that the dried mud had been meticulously cleaned up. For a blank moment she wondered if he did it before shrugging off the notion. It was probably Drizzt.

Coming over swiftly to grasp her sweater, Corrine pulled it on as she headed back to her room.

"G'night!"

"What the hell?" Corrine muttered blearily, rubbing her tired eyes free of sleep. It was six-thirty and apparently her guests had been awake for a while. Upon entering the living room, she found the disturbing sight of her gutted toasters sad remains on the fold out bed. And the damn bed wasn't made either, she growled internally, annoyed with the sound of radio channels being flipped through.

"Jaraxle!" she snapped irritably after spotting his bald head by the towering entertainment center. From where he sat, the drow winced and looked over his shoulder to the fuming woman with a sheepishly guilty smile.

"Ah, the gracious lady of the house has awoken. Did you sleep-?"

"Can it, drow. What did I say about the goddamn toaster?" Corrine demanded sharply, planting her hands on her hips. He winced again and his dirty grin widened. With no response forthcoming, she gave him a sharp, dark look and ran a hand through her tousled red hair.

"Whatever, I don't want to deal with you yet."

Grumbling, she thudded her way into the kitchen, ignoring the mess of plates and tormented wrappers from the males' experimental breakfast. Still bitching under her breath, she made a pot of really strong coffee and wondered how she was going to go about getting her car out of the ditch. Drizzt approached distractedly as she rinsed the fat, glass pot out.

Glancing over, Corrine felt her heart plummet and her stomach flip flop hazardously. In his slender, coal-skinned hands was her paperback copy of The Road of the Patriarch. And just behind him stood a very angry and violated looking Entreri who appeared on the verge of murdering her with a microwave.

"What is this?" Drizzt asked in an appalled, puzzled tone. After sputtering once or twice, Corrine gathered the wits to respond before her skull was crushed in.

"Did you read it?" she countered, turning to finish the coffee and collect her scattered brain. Shit, they weren't supposed to find out about that quite yet. Drizzt moved to respond but never got the chance.

Sharply, the assassin took the book from the drow and slammed the hapless thing onto the counter. The resonating slap echoed in the silence that had replaced the radio. Flinching, Corrine shifted her intent gaze to the picture of Entreri upon the nightmare as he pointed an accusing finger at it.

"Yes, we read some of it. Who is this Salvatore and how does he know what he writes?" Entreri snarled lowly, causing icy shivers to race over her spine and skin. Taking a gamble, the woman looked up into his dark, dangerous eyes, noting how thinly his lips were pressed in restraint. God, she'd have thought the infamous Artemis Entreri would have had more control than this. Then again, this particular novel laid bare all of his innermost scars and demons. Oh, and the epilogue had his mother and murderous lover right off the bat.

"Okay, remember last night when I said you were fictional?"

"Yes."

"Well…the reasoning for that is that this man wrote you _to be_ fictional. As far as I know, he thinks he just made you up," she paused and weighed her words at the burning anger in the man's eyes before continuing. "How he wrote it so much like your lives is beyond me."

"Any person who picks up these books can read our thoughts?" Entreri pressed, steadily growing more agitated. Hitting the On button on the coffee machine, Corrine turned to lean against the counter, arms folding over her middle. Jaraxle had joined them at some point, his ruby gaze more curious than concerned. The harsh gold light of the desert sunrise reflected off his bald flesh and seemed to enrich the vibrant green on Drizzt's tunic. It made it seem all the more unreal, she thought dazedly as she looked to man by her. His very hair was darkness itself, seeming to draw the light in and devour it. And his black eyes, glinting like the dagger in the night. Corrine shook herself free from contemplating them.

"That and your memories. Anything and everything that fills you out as a character or adds to the plot line is in there."

"How many of these are there?" Jaraxle asked, a hint of worry in his voice. Taking a moment, Corrine thought about it, counting them off in her head.

"Nineteen, so far. But most of them are actually about you, Drizzt."

"About me? Nineteen of them?"

"Yep, from birth on. Apparently, he hasn't finished writing either cause you're all alive so there will be more."

That seemed to rattle their sensibilities hard, each hiding the distress to an admirable extent. Corrine couldn't blame them; it would be real tough to know that your existence sat the tip of a pen and on the whims of a naïve author.

Staring at the book distantly, Entreri picked up the seemingly horrid thing and gingerly shifted through the pages.

"And this one?"

"It's mainly about you, your past and how that flute messed with your mind. As of yet, there is little on Jaraxle except hints," Corrine paused at the relief on the mercenary's face and snorted. She was going to pop that confidence like he broke her toaster. "Don't worry; he'll skin your soul and fly it for the crowd soon enough."

"What? Why?" the drow asked with a horrified expression. Entreri cast him a vaguely satisfied, humored look whereas Drizzt attempted to hide his.

"Cause people are growing curious about the motives of the infamous Baenre," she finished with a wry grin and a flamboyant, mocking bow. "RA's got to please the mob, you know."

The fine features of his face pinched in an annoyed, disgusted way before he started pouting.

"Is there no better way to entertain the masses than parading our exploits?"

"Jaraxle, are you well? Normally, you are the one doing the parading," Drizzt deigned to point out to the mercenary.

Corrine grew a twisted smirk at that as the air became thick with the rich, heady scent of coffee.

"Of course there are and most people indulge in them often. There's strip clubs, drugs, booze and television. All of which kill precious brain cells. Only smart or excessively bored people actually read your books."

Despite the severity in her tone, Jaraxle grew bright again at the possibility of escaping the masses view. She could practically see him getting ready to ask what a strip club was and decided to cut the line short.

"The only two of those that you should bother with is alcohol and television, Jar. I'm sure you've seen enough ass to fill four men's daydreams," she quipped dryly, enjoying the other two's snickers at his appalled face. Apparently he was not accustomed to being addressed as such. Collecting himself yet again in a graceful fashion, the drow gave her a sly smile.

"Oh, my lady, one can never see enough 'ass' as you so delicately put it."

Stunned and suddenly paranoid, Corrine gave him a narrow glare, sliding to the edge of the counter to get her coffee cup. Not moving to allow a glimpse of her ass, the woman kept a wary eye on him as she made her drink. Luckily, the drow dropped it on that note. 


	5. Chapter 5

"What is that?" Drizzt asked curiously as the silence wore on, fascinated by the sight and scent of the beverage. Corrine gave him a vaguely wary look before offering him the cup.

"It's called coffee, almost like a tea but its brewed from a bean instead."

All eyes locked on him as he took a perilously careful sip, licking his dark lips at the after taste. She coughed on a snicker at the way his pale lavender eyes widened in amazed delight. After taking another gulp, he gave it to a rather impatient Jaraxle.

"Be careful with that stuff. It's got a lot of caffeine," Corrine warned a little too late. Enteri snorted at that and she thought she detected the barest of grins on him. "I take it you've had coffee?"

"Once with a pasha when I was first climbing to power. It's a delicacy in Calimshan," the assassin replied shortly, amused as the two traded the ceramic cup back and forth. "At first, I had thought it was poisoned."

Drizzt stopped in mid-sip and gave Corrine a rather horrified stare as she made herself a new cup.

"Poisoned?"

"It's not. Entreri, stop trying to frighten him. Caffeine makes you hyper…" she paused at his confused look. "Uh, excitable. Its only temporary."

"My gods, this is amazing! Enteri, my friend, why haven't you introduced me to this before?" Jaraxle demanded quickly, the sugar apparently beginning to kick in. Especially considering the size his pupils was growing to.

"Because I do not favor the idea of you on a hyperactive rampage. It probably stunts your sex drive so be wary," Entreri quipped darkly. Corrine gave him a sharp look that clearly said he was lying.

"Once again, stop it. It stunts your growth at most not your sex drive. Its perfectly safe to drink."

Entreri shrugged nonchalantly, a somewhat evil look brooding somewhere in his features.

"Give it an hour and you will regret correcting me," he replied simply. Corrine took a moment to watch the other two drinking to feel that regret.

"Damn."

After making a quick breakfast of cereal and coffee for all, Corrine spent about an hour begging and pleading with her friend's father for help with her car. He ran a privately owned towing business and didn't charge much. After much whining she managed to get consent for the price of a kiss on the cheek.

"God, I love that man!" Corrine muttered as she sat at the table, wearing a bemused smirk. Jaraxle gave her a confused look. Waving a hand at him she sighed in vague annoyance. "No, not in that way. He's just really cool to me. A tow like that would take two hundred bucks."

"Ah."

"So…what is the last thing that happened with you guys before this whole thing?" she asked intently, eyeing the three of them for some indication. "There are things that might've happened in your future that haven't actually occurred yet and I would rather not disclose it on accident."

"We had come together quite on accident, might I add, in Waterdeep during the civil war-" the mercenary began before stopping. Corrine wore a puzzled expression. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, its just that, well, one: I know it wasn't an accident, Jaraxle. And two: Entreri wasn't present in that whole escapade. In fact, no one knows were he was."

"Perhaps Salvatore wrote it differently than it actually occurred," Drizzt offered before sipping on yet another glass of orange juice. Damn it, they were going to be expensive to keep, Corrine mused before laughing at herself internally. They were like a bunch of pets, granted that they were very odd, volatile pets.

"Okay, so that'll put you right after the last book he came out with The Pirate King. There's another one coming out in a month or so, The Ghost King. Okay, okay then…" she grumbled to herself for a moment before leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes. For a moment she tried to recalculate how much she had in her bank account for clothes and groceries. Thank god she just got paid.

The silence was rudely broken by the sound of the front door opening.

"Sissy? Sissy, we're here!" a loud female voice rang out, startling the shit out of all of them. A small child's laugh and yell followed right after, accompanied by little running feet. The men tensed at that, clearly wary of other people. Corrine reached across to grab Entreri's arm as he went for a dagger. Her eyes were wide with panic.

"Shit."

"Corrine, I'm sorry we're late, I-" a woman walked into the kitchen, a small boy riding her hip. Stopping in the doorway, she stared blankly at the foreign men in their strange clothes at her friend's table. Dark cherry-brown hair (the color of the month) was being pulled by her son's fist in a demand to be let down. She didn't acknowledge that however, her bright blue eyes fixed on the scene.

"Hi…Crissy, I uh…" Corrine started babbling as she got to her feet, feeling her legs weak under her. This must look bad. What the fuck was she doing here? Flopping her arms helplessly at her side, she fumbled for something to say. "Uh…how ya doing?"

"Good, good, um…we were going to go to the lake, remember?" her friend said a bit confusedly as she set her son down on the slate floor. Immediately, the red headed child took off for his godmother, chubby hands reaching up to be lifted.

"Hello, little Ayden, hello!" Corrine immediately cooed to the two-year-old. Giggling ecstatically as he was lifted, the boy grabbed her hair and grinned. Wincing at the pain, Corrine cast a sideways glance at her guests with one eye.

"Guys, this is my best friend Carrissa and her baby Ayden. There should be another one of them hiding around here-oh, there he is! Gabby, Gabby, don't hide," she called to the twin brother, hiding behind his mother's jean-clad legs. His hair was a dark brown like his father's, big dark blue eyes peering at the strangers shyly.

"Sissy, this is…um…Jay," she indicated Jaraxle who stood to bow flamboyantly.

"And…D.D," she motioned to Drizzt, wishing he'd get rid of that confused frown.

"And this is Art," she didn't get a chance to indicate the assassin as her godson was trying to scalp her with his little paws. Carrissa smiled at them briefly, her gaze running over Jaraxle's exotic features appreciatively.

"A bit early for Halloween, isn't it boys?" she asked playfully, trying to hide her inborn shyness. Drizzt continued to look even more confused but thankfully nobody answered her.

"We're working on them, actually," Corrine lied immediately, seizing the idea as an excuse. "I had them put them on so I could see…what else…might be needed…can you take your kid? He's trying to kill me."

Carrissa smiled amusedly at her friend before coming up to take him back.

"He just loves you, Sissy."

"I know but love hurts badly."

"Are we still going to the lake?" she asked sweetly, a low threat lying under her voice. The trip had been planned months in advance since there were so many people. Canceling on her again would probably light a real fire under her ass.

"Uh…"

"Jesus Christ, that long fucking car drive gives me the-" the statement preceded the entrance of Carrissa's twin sister, Sarah. Imagine that, the twin thing runs in the family. The only real difference between the two's outward appearance was that Sarah had long ago died her hair a bottle blonde and a lily tattoo on her boob.

Corrine nearly moaned in annoyance as Sarah paused by her sister and gave a horrified look. By the looks of it, she was about to say something embarrassing. Thankfully, Jaraxle saved her from it, much to Corrine's surprise. Standing up suavely, the drow approached her, a wide, easy grin on his dark face.

"A pleasure to meet you, my lady, my name is Jay," he murmured smoothly, holding a hand out in greeting. Casting a bewildered but pleased look at her friend, Sarah gave him hers.

"I'm Sarah. Are you Sissy's friend?"

"Yes, a very good friend in fact," he replied lowly, lifting her hand to give it a kiss. Entreri snorted at his display before crossing his arms and sinking in his chair. Corrine distinctly heard him call him a man-whore.

"Corrine, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!" Crissy blurted in shock, apparently envious of her. Abruptly, Corrine realized why she was: Jaraxle was wearing that damn revealing vest and muscles like that don't come by often. Heaving a breath, she rolled her eyes.

"I don't."

"Oh. So, as we were coming in, we noticed some bad clouds and the radio said there's going to be bad winds. Did we still want to go?" Sarah quickly asked, her voice barely concealing that she would rather hang out with Corrine's new friends. Carrissa opened her mouth to put up a fight about it but shut it at her sister's glance.

"Not if the weather's going to be bad. We can't have the babies getting sick," Corrine conceded in what she hoped was a disappointed voice. A moment of fear seized her as she scanned the faces about their legs. "Where's Riley?"

"She hid the moment we got inside. You know how she is," Sarah replied with a laugh at her daughter's behavior. Corrine smiled and looked to the silent, wary men sitting at her table.

"Let's, um, go clean up the living room and relax. We'll go grocery shopping later."


	6. Chapter 6

"So, D.D, are you guys staying with Corrine for long?" Carrissa asked in an innocent voice as he helped her push the fold up bed back into the couch. Drizzt gave her a distant look as it clicked into place, trying to hide his confusion.

"For now we will be. She has been most gracious to us," he replied elusively. After setting the cushions back in the couch, she sat and patted the seat next to her. Nervously he sat next to her, keeping an eye on the others. Jaraxle or 'Jay' sat next to Sarah on the leather couch, commenting on the beautiful lily and running a fingertip on the colors.

"You guys from Europe?" Carrissa asked curiously as she hefted Gabriel into her lap. Drizzt cast a hidden glance to Corrine as she walked by. The woman nodded slightly as she passed, still looking for her elusive goddaughter.

"Yes, we are visiting from U-rope," he replied lightly, trying to pronounce the name with difficulty. Luckily, she took it as an accent.

"Wow, so how do you guys know Corrine?" she pressed incessantly. Corrine recognized it even from a distance that she was flirting but it was making him paranoid.

"Internet, Sissy. This isn't a Inquisition!"

Carrissa cast her a playfully vile glare before fondling her son's hair. Drizzt grew uncomfortable under the child's scrutiny anyway but was glad he wasn't trying to touch him like his twin was. Ayden stood by him, little arms trying to reach his belt in curiosity. And of course, his mother said nothing.

Entreri remained alone as he sat in the dining room, obstinately clinging to his personal space from the small boys and flirty women. Instead he watched Corrine as she peered into her kitchen's cabinets, calling for Riley and crawling around on her hands and knees.

"That is not a very dignified position, I hope you realize," he commented in dry amusement from where he sat. Corrine puffed her hair out of her face as she stood up on her knees and twisted around to look at him. Planting her hands on her hips, she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"There is no such thing as dignity when it comes to kids. If you ever have one, you'll get what I mean," she returned lightly, clearly not upset with what she was doing. Entreri gave her an incredulous look as if having children had never crossed his mind.

"These are not your children," he deigned to point out as she shuffled around the island to the pantry on her knees. Corrine grinned at him for that one.

"Nope, they're even better. They're my god-kids which means I can play with them and have fun then hand them back. No long term commitment to diapers and potty training."

Entreri watched in continued amused amazement as she paused and dropped to her hands and knees. A somewhat evil smile crossed her from behind her fly away hair as she crawled towards the pantry. Behind the frosted glass of it, the blurred image of a blonde girl stood.

Silently, the assassin watched as she crept closer and carefully went to grab the doorknob. Pausing only a moment, Corrine flung open the door and shouted a laugh at the small child. Brilliant blue eyes sparkled in surprised delight as the girl jumped and squealed at being found.

"I got you now, Riley!" Corrine laughed as she reached out and grabbed the child's waist. Entreri restrained a snort as she swirled her up in the air as she kicked. "I found you! What now? What now?"

Gently, Corrine laid her on the floor in front of her, hand cupped to the back of her skull and proceeded to tickle her mercilessly. Although she was four months younger than her cousins, Riley had long honey gold hair that lay in curls about her face. She looked so much like her father, Corrine thought in mild sadness as she growled and nibbled playfully on the girl's ears.

"Uh oh! Did she find you, Riley?" Sarah's voice called from the living room, where she was no doubt enjoying Jaraxle's attentions. The girl squealed in response before struggling to her feet. Sitting up, Corrine hefted her up and set her down before fussing with her hair.

"Look, now, I got you all disheveled," she chuckled as she fixed her green sundress. She paused at her goddaughter's grin. "You don't even know what disheveled means so don't pretend you understand, munchkin."

A small chuckle reached her from Entreri and she cast him a dry look. Riley turned to stare at him as well and pointed curiously.

"That's Art, Riley. Go say hi."

The sudden glare he gave her could have killed a marine in his tracks. It melted off into a blank mask as the little girl trotted up, her fists balled at her sides. A battle of wills, Corrine narrated in her head, as they sized each other up. It was a bit comical, the darkly dressed assassin analyzing the child as she stared unashamedly with blue eyes in her pretty dress.

Not surprisingly, Riley put her hands up to him. He stared at her blankly, perhaps even in mild horror before looking to her for help.

"She's saying hi, pick her up," Corrine instructed with a mild snicker. The assassin gave her sharp look and pressed his lips before complying. Stiffly, he reached down and lifted her from under her arms and held her out to eye level. Still the hands were held out to him in supplication. After a moment he hesitantly set her on his knee, one hand balancing her against her back.

Corrine propped her chin in her palm upon her knee and smiled at the face he was making. Had he ever held a child before? She tried to remember if there was anything in the books but couldn't place one instance. It was kind of cute to see.

As if sensing her scrutiny, Entreri gave her a glare before putting Riley back on the floor. She continued to stare at him before babbling in infant language. A completely surprised and stupefied look came over his handsome features as she pointed at random things, still speaking nonsense. Once she stopped he patted her head and gave her a nudge away from him.

"Aw, that was real sweet, Art," Corrine crooned as she got up and grabbed Riley's hand. The assassin grunted at her and ignored her studiously.


	7. Chapter 7

"No, no, five more minutes, mom," Corrine grumbled sleepily as someone nudged her shoulder. The touch disappeared after a moment and she snuggled closer to her goddaughter, inhaling the smell of baby shampoo. Another nudge and she shrugged it off, too tired to care that Ayden was asleep on her back and that her legs were numb.

The sharp, annoyed smack on the back of her head brought her to life, however. Inhaling sharply, Corrine raised her head from Rylie's neck to blink groggily.

"What? Who the fuck just hit me?" she demanded irritably before focusing on the intruder. Entreri stood towering over her in front of the couch, arms folded over his chest and a scowl fixed on his brow. To her surprise, he was swaying to an extent, barely able to conceal it. Blearily, the woman looked up at him in utter confusion, wondering why he woke her up.

"What?"

"You need to get a handle on this situation. Now," Entreri growled lowly, not moving from his position or lowering any of his annoyed frustration. Carefully, Corrine slid her arm out from under Rylie's head and sat up on an elbow.

"What situation?" she asked wearily. It was late; what time she didn't know but it had to be after eleven at night. Only as she looked about did she realize what the 'situation' was. Loud, thudding music rolled forth from her stereo, shaking the window panes mercilessly. How she and the kids slept through it was a mystery as was the lack of police. This was a quiet neighborhood.

Across the way, Carrissa lay on the floor, half awake with a puddle of vomit next to her. Panic raced through her as she sat up further, causing Ayden to slid between her and the couch, still unconscious. The smell of vodka and tequila hit her nose abruptly and in force as reality hit home.

"Oh, crap. They brought booze," Corrine groaned in exasperation as she untangled herself from her godchildren. On the other couch, Gabriel snoozed on his stomach, his little fist barely touching the ground.

"'Oh, crap' does not cover this situation, I'm afraid," the assassin snarled before directing her attention to his trousers. Corrine looked and found her face paling. Carrissa had thrown up on him and the floor, she realized, splattering his lap and thighs with thin brown puke.

"Oh," she sighed as she stood wobbling. Her legs were starting to get the feeling back in them as she contemplated whether or not she had spare pants for him.

The lights were off everywhere except the kitchen where she heard raucous laughter and giggling. Planting her hands on her hips, Corrine went over to her piss-drunk friend, tired of this damn scenario. She really should not have napped.

"Let's get her taken care of and I'll find you some pants," Corrine suggested in what was more of a plea as she knelt down to grab Carrissa's arm. He didn't move from his position. "Listen, do you want to smell like puke or are you going to help me?"

Still scowling, Entreri went to the other side of her and helped lift her dead weight to her feet, a look of disgust stamped on. Her head lolled about to look at them, a heavy glaze on her bright blue eyes and drool glistening on her chin.

"Sissy, I'm so-so sorry that I…puked. I p-puked all over," she sobbed staggeringly, hiccups breaking her speech. Corrine rolled her eyes at the too-familiar situation and guided her to sit on the end of the couch, away from Gabriel. Amazingly, she hadn't puked on herself, just on the man and the floor. Poor floor, Corrine laughed internally.

"Hold on. Can you move him to the other couch please?" she requested over the loud sound of LMFAO thudding in the air. Her friend was careening in her seat in circles, clearly not stable enough to even sit. Entreri pressed his lips and nodded briskly, glad to be away from the stench of vomit and its source.

Corrine watched him carefully, one arm balancing her drunken friend as the assassin tucked a hand under the boy and lifted him easily off the couch. Gabriel whined in his sleep and squirmed to get comfortable again, giving her a momentary moment of panic; he'd better not drop him. Gracefully, Entreri brought the child to his chest and quickly went to the other couch.

"He drooled on me," was the only dry remark he made as she forced Carrissa to lay down on the couch. Once again, Corrine rolled her eyes as he wiped the back of his hand on his stained trousers.

"Be glad that it's just drool. When he was little, he projectile-vomited into my hair," she commented with a snicker, pulling off Carrissa's tennis shoes. Heaving a sigh through her nose, she looked down at the woman. "I'm gonna have to force feed her soon. Tequila always does this to her."

"Let her be. She was the one who brought out the 'tequila' in the first place," Entreri recommended darkly. She gave him an arch look before shaking her head.

"Be that as it may, I'm not gonna let her puke on my carpet again. At least we're here and not at the lake. I don't know how we could take care of the kids there."

He made no reply but a foul tinge tainted his normal scowl. Blankly, she remembered why he was so angry with the whole thing. There were three small children here and their mothers were wasted and incoherent. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was bad parenting. Silently, he followed her as she went to turn off the music.

"Sarah, you dumbass. Why did you bring-?" Corrine was demanding as she led the way to the kitchen. She bit her tongue when she got there though.

At the dining room table sat Drizzt with a shot glass in his ebony hand, half filled with the evil liquid. The way his glazed, lavender eyes stared intently at a minute crack in the table's surface indicated that he had had a good couple of shots as well. Someone had put all of his white hair into tiny long braids, falling over his plain tunic and back. It didn't look bad but it must have taken hours to do. His mouth was slack and his general expression was rather blank.

The sliding back door was open all the way to the moths and on the porch she could see Sarah with Jaraxle. After a moment she sighed in disbelief.

"Don't look, Entreri. They're dirty dancing," Corrine warned bleakly. The expression on his pale face indicated that the warning came a bit too late. Shaking her head at her friends' natures, the woman led the way towards her room. "Lets find you some clean clothes."

"Are your associates always this negligent?" the man asked sharply once they gained her bedroom. Turning on a light, Corrine cast a small frown at him before going to her closet.

"No, they're…" she stopped speaking to reconsider her answer more thoroughly as she sifted through her pants. A small sigh of a laugh escaped her. "Well, yes, I guess they are."

Entreri leaned against the doorjamb of the closet, his dark eyes hard and his mouth tight. Corrine finally found the slacks she was looking for and turned to give him them.

"I guess that's why I was dubbed the godmother. They always used to say I was the more responsible one of their friends," she concluded dryly. The assassin accepted the clothes she held out, giving her a most puzzling look.

"They trust you with their children?"

"Yep."

"With their children's lives?" he reiterated. The woman looked at him cautiously, trying to decipher what might be going on behind that black gaze. Finally she nodded, running a hand through her trashed hair.

"Yes, they do. I love those kids like they were my own."

"Especially the little girl," Entreri noted, not moving from his slouch against the doorframe. "Why is that?"

Corrine felt her eyes harden at the suggestion and her chin firm up in denial.

"I love them all equally," she countered a bit harshly. A small smirk was tucked at the corners of his tempting mouth and she knew that he didn't believe her. But he let it go at that. "Give me your dirty clothes after you change. I'll get them washed."


	8. Chapter 8

"Holy fuck, man. I am tired," Corrine yawned as she finally sat down at the dining room table two hours later. Entreri's clothes were in the wash and the puke was cleaned up. The kids were curled up on the small leather couch, the throw blanket tucked snuggly over them and Carrissa had been resituated on the fold out bed. It had taken over half an hour to get her to sober up minutely. Shoving rolled up balls of sandwich bread down someone's throat was not her idea of a good time.

Jaraxle and Sarah had disappeared from the backyard at some point during the escapade. Where they went, only God knew but Corrine had a sneaking suspicion that they were up to the ugly. Knowing Sarah for the last thirteen years and Know Jaraxle just from the stories, they'd be gone till dawn.

"Hey, hombre, you okay?" she asked Drizzt playfully, leaning down to get his attention. The drow blinked blearily a couple of times as he stared at the glass in his hands as he had been for hours before focusing on her.

"Wha?" he asked, voice a complete slur. Corrine snorted a laugh at that and shook her head. For some reason, she had thought that maybe the elves would withstand the liquor easily. Apparently, she was dead wrong; it hit everyone hard. Heaving a sigh, she stretched her arms back over her head and arched her back to get rid of the kinks Ayden's dead weight caused in her spine.

"Alright, lets get you to bed, mister," she cajoled as she stood, trying to kick start her third supply of emergency energy for the night. Coming around she took the empty shot glass out of his hands and set it aside.

"Hey, I was…I was drinking that," Drizzt complained sluggishly as she grabbed his hands. Corrine laughed at that and steadied him as he stood.

"No you weren't. You were just staring at it."

"Was I? Oh," was the dumb reply. Shaking her head in humor, Corrine tucked herself under his arm and guided the drunken elf towards the back room. Despite the fact that he was such a lightweight, she had a lot of trouble keeping him from careening into the walls.

"That's it. No more hard liquor for you, bud," she joked breathlessly as his staggering bounced her off a wall. Suddenly, Drizzt stopped and stooped a little to peer at her in dumb shock. His lips trembled and he squinted a bit to make sure he was seeing correctly. Corrine eyed him a bit warily as the drow reached up and clumsily tucked a piece of her hair behind an ear.

"Catti-brie?" he mumbled dazedly, his eyes closing sleepily. Shaking off his touch, the woman laughed it off and moved him to the bedroom.

"Nope, not her, D.D. Now, go to bed like a good drow," she directed as she dumped the elf on the spare bed. A content murmur escaped him as she wiggled the blankets loose from under him and covered him up. He almost looked like a little kid, Corrine giggled silently, with his hand curled up next to his cheek and drool trickling out his mouth.

"That is an oxymoron, you realize. A 'good drow'?" a low, sarcastic voice said from behind her. Corrine jumped a little and turned from where she had been looking at Drizzt to see Entreri leaning in the doorway. Raising an eyebrow at him, she turned off the light and went to exit the room. He blocked her way however, not moving despite her proximity.

"You're quite the comedian when you want to be, aren't you?" Corrine said dryly, giving him a small cross look. When he didn't move out of her way, the woman frowned and pushed him with her fingertips on the chest. "Move."

Again, Entreri remained in his place, simply staring at her. She did it again.

"Okay, please move?" she tried again, her voice taking on a sweet-sick plea. When, once again, it won her no avail, she tried just to maneuver around the assassin into the hallway. Instead, she ended up bumping into his shoulder as he moved right in front of her and bounced back into the room. She was about to get pissed off at him for playing such a silly game when her nose caught a smell.

Tequila and vodka. Blankly, she looked down at his clothes, just to make sure it was the black sweats and grey shirt she had given him. Yep, it wasn't coming from his clothes; it was on his breath and she had only caught the smell because she was so close.

The breath in her chest hitched and Corrine looked up at the assassin to get a better idea of how much he had imbibed. There was a mild glaze in the grey-black flecks of his gaze that she hadn't noticed before and a slight sweat was upon his strangely clear brow.

"I didn't realize that you had a drink as well. You're handling it a lot better than the others," Corrine commented lightly, trying to quall a sudden nervousness in her stomach. A slightly twisted smile hit his lips, quirking them just at the end and he shifted to his other foot. He was apparently content to lurk in the doorway and block the exit. "How much did you have?"

"Four of each," Entreri replied simply. "It is a bit more than I usually imbibe."

"If I remember correctly, you barely ever drink," she remarked as she folded her arms over her chest and rested back by the light switch. Drizzt had started to snore lightly at some point, she could hear him now in the dark of the room. "I'm amazed you aren't praying to the porcelain god right now or stumbling about considering how strong that shit is."

Perhaps he had taken his shots recently, Corrine wondered, considering how she could practically see the alcohol beginning to affect him. That's why he wasn't moving; he didn't want anyone to see how drunk he was. Ever the survivalist he was.

"Well, lets find you a place to sleep since the kids-" Corrine began to suggest as she reached out to pat his shoulder. It was just a friendly gesture but apparently he didn't get the message. Quicker than he should have been able to move, Entreri grasped her wrist and pushed her back against the wall.

Corrine grunted as the back of her head banged on the plaster, just hard enough to make it throb. Despite how dark it was, she could see the assassin perfectly. His dark eye glittered strangely in the dim light and his mouth was open just barely, hovering only inches away. Even if it was too dark, she could feel him pressed to her. Whether or not he had lost his balance and was just leaning on her for support, she didn't know but the sensation of his muscled, wiry frame against hers was a bit too intimate for her liking. Not to mention, he had both her wrists in custody now against the wall.

"Um, what are you doing?" the woman asked in a small whisper, suddenly paranoid of upsetting him in this position. In her head she was repeating a mantra: Holy shit! Drunk assassin! Holy shit!

The question seemed to rouse a bit coherency in Entreri. Blinking rapidly, he licked his dry lips but didn't relinquish his position.

"I-I do not know."

She was about to ask him to get the hell off her then but she never got the chance. Within the space of a thought, his lips were suddenly and rather clumsily upon hers. Corrine's eyes doubled in size and she froze against the wall. What was he doing? What was the supposedly cool, collected and emotionless assassin doing?

Despite the fact that he was obviously more than a little drunk, Corrine found herself almost enjoying the feel of his mouth against hers, at how soft it was. For some reason she thought it would have been a bit harsher and less touchable. She could almost taste the bitter-sweet taste of liquor on his lips.

Then, just as suddenly, Entreri pushed away from her, releasing her wrists to place his hands on the wall by her head. Trapped by his arms and the proximity of his body, she remained still, warily watching him. His head was lowered (in dizziness she couldn't tell) and he swayed ever so slightly.

Timidly, Corrine let out a breath and moved just a bit. That seemed to break whatever strangeness there was in him for the moment. Entreri removed his hands and stood as straight as he could, still moving a bit hazardously. He stared at his feet as he attempted to steady himself, calloused hands out at his sides.

When the assassin started pitching backwards, Corrine knew she had to get him to lie down. Murmuring a statement of dumb disbelief, she pushed the incident out of her thoughts and came forward. This time, he didn't react violently when she put a bracing arm about his lean waist. Instead, he actually allowed her to lead him out of the room and down the hall.

"I sure hope you don't remember this in the morning. I have a feeling you will be a lot crabbier than usual," Corrine whispered wryly as they staggered by her room. Suddenly, she heard a high bell ringing in the dark of the bedroom and groaned. It was Sarah calling her cell. "Damn it."

Maneuvering Entreri into the room was harder than moving Drizzt; the man didn't want to go where she wanted. Finally, she managed to coax him in enough to grab her phone off the bed. There was a new voice message. She was about to call her mailbox when Entreri swayed the wrong direction. Dropping it to the bed yet again, Corrine grabbed his forearm and pulled.

The action had a rather opposite end than she wanted. The momentum of being tugged in an opposite direction sent the wavering man crashing into her. All the curses in the world would not have been enough to voice her frustrated vexation! Entreri's dead weight pushed her onto the edge of the bed and down onto it. Corrine wiggled for all her worth to get away from him.

"Goddamn, fucking drunk-Ah!" she had barely gotten her hips out from under him when he wrapped his arms about her waist. With a strength she would not have attributed to him at the moment, he hefted her back down enough to hug her to him more tightly. Corrine froze yet again as she heard him muttering something mostly unintelligible. The only word she caught was a frustrated 'no'. Apparently, he didn't want her moving anywhere and he was quite comfortable smothering her into the bed.

Spitting out hair from her mouth, she felt her heart pounding at the feeling of the man atop her. This was going to be so awkward in the morning.

For a few moments, the woman laid there, barely breathing and silently enjoying the presence of him. This was terribly strange, she decided sleepily. This was not how she envisioned Entreri acting at all but then again, how much of Salvatore's work was reliable? Already there had been differences they had found so how much more was wrong? Her train of thought abruptly stopped when the inebriated man moved again.

The hard, almost desperate feeling arms tightened about her ribcage and he nuzzled close to her collarbone, a contented sigh rumbling through his chest. Corrine almost smiled at that; so there was a soft side to the killer. It just came out when he was drinking. No wonder he never really did it. This whole world jumping thing must have really gotten to him, she realized. He must have been under considerable stress to actually drink that much. Rather out of character with what she expected.

Timidly, Corrine raised a hand and touched his slightly sweaty brow with her fingertips. She could barely see his face at this angle but she felt that he had a frown. Gently, fingers quaking at the possibility of angering him, she ran her hand over his brow into his hair. Again, she repeated the motion, nails snagging on the midnight strands. After a moment, Entreri sighed again and she suddenly felt a cold bit of drool on her skin. Everyone drools on tequila, she decided.

There was no way she was getting free enough to reach her phone tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

The queasy, nerve-wracking feeling of someone watching awoke Corrine the next morning. Despite that, she felt clear headed and remembered how she fell asleep and with whom and kept the presence of mind to keep her eyes shut. For a few moments, she laid there feigning sleep and trying to assess what was going on. When stillness and silence met her inquiry, she hazarded opening her eyes a crack.

The sun had barely started coming up outside, lighting the room with a damp gray glow. In the olive trees in the backyard she could here the starlings starting their morning routine. None of that grasped her attention really. At her side was the dark form of Entreri, sitting on the blankets and staring fixedly at her.

Either he was still slightly inebriated or she was really good at playing dead for he didn't seem to notice that she was awake. Lying on her back, Corrine watched the strange array of emotions playing on his features. His expression was soft in thought and the hard, icy glints that normally decorated his gaze were gone. Now, the grey-black of his eyes seemed like tranquil pools despite the light frown.

Looking away from her, Entreri ran a hand through his gnarled midnight hair and dragged his palm over his face. He needed a shave, she noticed; there was a decent five o'clock shadow on his sharp chin and he still looked tired. She could feel on her collarbone where his shallow beard had rubbed on the skin; it itched.

Suddenly, one of the kids laughed loudly, the sound echoing down the hall from the living room. Taking the sound as a reason to wake, Corrine sighed sleepily and shifted as if just waking up. Through her cracked lids, she could see the expressionless mask slip onto Entreri as she moved, covering the soft, wondering expression he had on.

Blinking her eyes open all the way, Corrine feigned ignorance of him and yawned. Looking to her side, she caught his gaze and stilled as if startled. For a few moments, they just stared at each other mutely, sizing the other up. Finally, she licked her dry lips and swallowed the cottony feeling in her mouth.

"Good morning," she muttered softly, praying this didn't end up too awkward. The assassin narrowed his gaze at her for a moment, his hair playing on shadows in the angles of his face. The look disappeared immediately.

"Morning," he replied in what could only be described as an irritable growl. Corrine rose an eyebrow at him before sitting up and itching where his mouth had rested.

"Not much of a morning person, are you?" she commented dryly, scratching at her neck and collar madly. Damn, those little bristles itch!

Noticing what she was rubbing at, a strange look passed over Entreri, an almost guilty grimace and he asked her with his eyes if he had done anything untoward. Corrine found that she was actually surprised that he was asking, albeit silently. Why she was, was beyond her especially considering that she knew that he didn't like the idea of rape in any form. She gave him a reassuring shake of her head and a small smile to say that she was fine. A ghost of relief passed over him before he moved to stand up.

"The children are awake. And hungry, it sounds like," Entreri commented bluntly as he stood, one hand clutching his head in pain. Corrine snorted at the indirect hint that she should make breakfast and scooted to the edge.

"Yeah and it sounds like you need an aspirin."

He gave her a strange look of incomprehension.

"It's medicine for hangovers and headaches. You look like you need a few and a cup of coffee."

Entreri shook his head and actually managed a wince at the pain it produced. Corrine sighed and rolled her eyes at him before locating her phone.

"Trust me. I know hangovers better than anyone. I'll get you on your feet by noon," she reassured before dialing the mailbow. Hopefully, Sarah and Jaraxle had managed to stay out of trouble. Entreri gave a soft groan as he attempted to walk to the door.

"Noon? It takes that long for this to leave my system?"

"I didn't say anything about it leaving your system. You'll be able to function at the most. Hold on," the mailbox had finally gotten to Sarah's message. Putting a finger to her lips to silence the crabby assassin, Corrine listened to the sound of Sarah laughing drunkenly. Apparently, she hadn't meant to call and hadn't noticed that her phone had dialed. Jaraxle was talking nearby but it was too garbled to understand. Sarah whooped like they were on a rollercoaster and then silence.

"They came in during the night. I heard them stagger in a few hours ago," Entreri supplied tiredly once she hung up the phone. He eyed it oddly, wary of the strange device and the proximity of it to her head. Corrine frowned at it before chucking it over her shoulder to the blankets.

"Then they'll be out for a good few hours. Let's go get you your coffee," she prodded a bit playfully as she stood. Once she gained his side at the door, Entreri gave her a mildly threatening look at her lightness.

Taken aback, she gave him a confused frown before catching on. He didn't want anyone else aware that he had been drinking as well. It was a weak moment that his companions didn't need to know about. It was pride, she supposed, but she had indulged him in that moment and that made her bound to silence.

Corrine gave him an understanding nod and a bracing smile before leading the way to a clearer head and a fully belly.


End file.
